Maybe . . . he’s just not that into dating advice . . .

Maybe . . . he’s just not that into dating advice . . .

I'd like to be a love and relationships expert!

But this whole dating advice thing is getting out of control.

I've been following the growth of the PUA (pick up artist) movement over the last year, and it maybe an ad JUST GUYS get, but myspace has fully begun promoting prominent PUA Neil Strauss's (he's also a journalist who wrote marilyn manson's bio and a couple of others) new book "Rules of the Game."

Check it out here

www.myspace.com/neilstrauss

It's just another PUA manual teaching guys how to get women to have sex with you as quickly as possible. The obvious blunder is that it's a book. Guys don't read books.

Of course this has become a little dumbed down for the mainstream, but all the basic stuff is their – the psychological manipulation, body language cues, alpha behaviour etc. etc.

It made me think. I was thinking shit, just as a hot chick cant go out anywhere now without guys being all up on her, within a few years, every dude will be using these techniques, like telling a beautiful woman her hair/nails/tan/boobs "look fake" or other psychological tactics designed to play on the insecurity over the value women draw from their appearance, and turn the submissive approval seeking behaviour around to the man's favour.

It's a worldwide society; as far as I know there is a secret group in each main centre (AKL, WGTN, CHCH, DNDN) of men who meet to share and plan psychological techniques to seduce women, and then they go out and apply them.

But really, its all so forced and rehearsed, all these little routines, pitches, magic tricks, stories etc. all designed to display the kind of "alpha" male confidence - ("DV" - Demonstrate value - being rude to a pretty girl is known as "DHV" - demonstrating higher value) that sweeps women off their feet.

Let me just expand on a classic PUA analogy without going into too much detail.

A man using this PUA shit is like a woman using a big pair of fake boobs. They've taken the idea of what a man wants – nice round boobs – and just created a ridiculous caricature. And PUA plays on what women want – a confident man of value – by creating a trashy canned routine out of it but losing the magical allure of natural attraction and leaving nothing but a big fake joke.

Sure, heaps of guys love fake boobs because they're there and they're big! But it's actually a turn off for lots of "real" guys too. And fake confidence will turn some girls off . . . most girls will fall for it.

For me personally . . . do I want to get involved with a girl who thinks I'm weak or not "alpha" because I'm not afraid to say "sorry" when I'm wrong, or tell her I think she's beautiful? That I'll ask her where she wants me to take her, not "this is where we're going because I'm Alpha."? Probably about as much a girl wants to go out with a guy who'd like you more if you had implants.

(Most PUA stuff instructs to barely compliment a woman if at all possible, and NEVER apologise for anything)

But just as I share what I know with guys who don't do so well with chicks – because trust me, it does work, it's just there is limits – I've been saying to my girl buddies . . . look this stuff up! There's a whole different bunch of stuff for women to read to learn how to get what THEY want – IE to get their guy to stay put and do as theyre told.

That's when I started reading all that "He's just not that into you" stuff and realised . . . dating advice for women based on basic psychological manipulation etc. is nothing new!

And sure enough this leads onto a host of psychologically themed advice for women on manipulating men and guess what??? Apparently it's got nothing to do with being thin! Who would've thought?

I think it has something to do with propping up his ego.

Sounds about right. I wish my mother would tell me she was proud of me more.

What was it? "How to become a woman men don't leave"? or something. Sheesh.

But what we have is . . . all this PUA advice stuff out there telling men to act like cocky pricks and force women to seek your approval, and all this dating advice for women say . . . don't chase, force him to chase . . . and then make him dependant on your emotional support?

Dontcha just love the 21st century?


"We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so lo-o-o-o-ong
both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield . . . "