1. You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
2. I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
3. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
4. If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
5. I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
6. Baby, you overclock my processor.
7. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
8. Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
9. You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.
10.You defragment my life.
11. Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing?
12. You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
13. Baby, let me find your nth term.
14. I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
15. Baby I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long
16. Hey baby, can I see what’s under your radical?
17. If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.
18. I’m a fermata… hold me
19. I think my heart just lagged.
20. I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities.
21. Did you just combust?? Because you’re HOT!
22. By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
23. It doesn’t take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.
24. Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!
25. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply
26. Baby, you’re a 9.999999999…but you’d be a 10 if you were with me.
27. Baby, every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up
28. I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
29. What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1
30. If my right leg was Christmas and my left was Easter, would you like to spend some time between the holidays?
31. You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle.
32. You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract. (Muscles that make you smile)
33. When you and me get together it’s like superposition of 2 waves in phase.
34. Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?
35. If I was sin^2 and you were cos^2 together we would be 1
36. You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force
37. If I move my lips half the distance to yours… and then half again… and again… etc…. would they ever meet? no? Well in this specific case I am going to disprove your assumption.
38. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
39. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
40. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
41. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?
42. Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it
43. Let’s meet somewhere… you bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod
44. Baby let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves
45. Hey baby, what’s your tanx cosx?
46. Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress
47. Let’s discover our coefficient of friction
48. Baby, you’re so gneiss I’ll never take you for granite.
49. I less than three you….. (i < 3 you)
50. I heard you’re sin because you’re always on top when we make tangent
Thursday, June 26, 2008
50 nerdy nerdcore pick up lines
1. You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
2. I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
3. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
4. If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
5. I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
6. Baby, you overclock my processor.
7. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
8. Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
9. You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.
10.You defragment my life.
11. Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing?
12. You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
13. Baby, let me find your nth term.
14. I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
15. Baby I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long
16. Hey baby, can I see what’s under your radical?
17. If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.
18. I’m a fermata… hold me
19. I think my heart just lagged.
20. I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities.
21. Did you just combust?? Because you’re HOT!
22. By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
23. It doesn’t take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.
24. Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!
25. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply
26. Baby, you’re a 9.999999999…but you’d be a 10 if you were with me.
27. Baby, every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up
28. I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
29. What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1
30. If my right leg was Christmas and my left was Easter, would you like to spend some time between the holidays?
31. You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle.
32. You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract. (Muscles that make you smile)
33. When you and me get together it’s like superposition of 2 waves in phase.
34. Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?
35. If I was sin^2 and you were cos^2 together we would be 1
36. You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force
37. If I move my lips half the distance to yours… and then half again… and again… etc…. would they ever meet? no? Well in this specific case I am going to disprove your assumption.
38. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
39. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
40. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
41. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?
42. Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it
43. Let’s meet somewhere… you bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod
44. Baby let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves
45. Hey baby, what’s your tanx cosx?
46. Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress
47. Let’s discover our coefficient of friction
48. Baby, you’re so gneiss I’ll never take you for granite.
49. I less than three you….. (i < 3 you)
50. I heard you’re sin because you’re always on top when we make tangent
2. I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
3. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
4. If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
5. I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
6. Baby, you overclock my processor.
7. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
8. Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
9. You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.
10.You defragment my life.
11. Do you think we can make it a step more serious and disable network sharing?
12. You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
13. Baby, let me find your nth term.
14. I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
15. Baby I’ll treat you like my homework — I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long
16. Hey baby, can I see what’s under your radical?
17. If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.
18. I’m a fermata… hold me
19. I think my heart just lagged.
20. I wish I were your second derivative so I could fill your concavities.
21. Did you just combust?? Because you’re HOT!
22. By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
23. It doesn’t take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.
24. Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!
25. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply
26. Baby, you’re a 9.999999999…but you’d be a 10 if you were with me.
27. Baby, every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up
28. I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
29. What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1
30. If my right leg was Christmas and my left was Easter, would you like to spend some time between the holidays?
31. You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle.
32. You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract. (Muscles that make you smile)
33. When you and me get together it’s like superposition of 2 waves in phase.
34. Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?
35. If I was sin^2 and you were cos^2 together we would be 1
36. You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force
37. If I move my lips half the distance to yours… and then half again… and again… etc…. would they ever meet? no? Well in this specific case I am going to disprove your assumption.
38. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
39. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
40. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
41. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?
42. Our love is like dividing by zero…. you cannot define it
43. Let’s meet somewhere… you bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod
44. Baby let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves
45. Hey baby, what’s your tanx cosx?
46. Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress
47. Let’s discover our coefficient of friction
48. Baby, you’re so gneiss I’ll never take you for granite.
49. I less than three you….. (i < 3 you)
50. I heard you’re sin because you’re always on top when we make tangent
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Mr. and Mrs. Right
I’ve been so busy at work and considered that I might be going crazy.
I’ve been thinking about becoming a better person.
Not right away, but y’know, soon. And I’ve been wanting to blog about how I’ve been thinking about becoming a better person recently.
But every time I try, I sound like a big fuckin gay and feeling how smug all those fuckin penniless lesbian losers who are always telling me I’m arrogant and shallow and all the rest would be.
I mean just because even after you got your stupid arts degree you’re not smart enough to get a decent job and make half what I do and your boyfriend looks like a bum it doesn’t make me shallow, k?
I like models for the same reason I like chocolate. It’s yummy to put in your mouth.
Liking chocolate and german automobiles and models doesn’t make me shallow it just means I like nice things. I don’t like second rate shit.
But I work too hard.
And I get frustrated, so I take my frustrations out by being arrogant and insensitive, because I reason, “that’s life”.
Or did you fail to realise you've grown up in a world obsessed with money and sex? Did you not see that one coming?
And you call ME shallow. sheesh. "Don't hate the player, sweetheart . . ."
Like I laugh at people who want to ban GE.
”oh! You should have thought about that 30 years ago when your capitalist overlords introduced it secretly! Oh well. Maybe next time.”
So there I was, I was sort of complaining mournfully that
“there’s no one in my life that inspires me”
Which is true.
Or considering that because I’m kind of arrogant and a womaniser, the only women I attract are second rate, and I just cant connect to them. It’s kinda lonely. Diddums.
In fact, I was lying awake in bed and the realisation just hit me.
A NEW BEAMER OR BENZY IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS WILL IN NO WAY GET YOU CLOSER TO MEETING A WOMEN YOU RESPECT.
it’s fuckin’ depressing. But it’s true.
But if you’ve ever had a girlfriend you’ll know that they don’t want you to succeed and realise your potential and dreams. They just want you to watch a DVD with them.
By the time you’re talking about walks along the beach you can forget it, I got this money to make.
Often I compare the way I behave to a hot chick. If you know any hot chicks, you’ll know that they have what is known as a “bitch switch”.
It’s used to keep loser guys away by instantly turning into a cold, nasty little cow, that will cut them down the moment they try to lay down their ragged game.
And this is often why I act like an arrogant prick, because it keeps girls who aren’t too bright and have emotional problems and dont think that hard away.
I mean, I tell you I'm arrogant and shallow, so I must be, right?
That’s when I realised that’s what my problem is.
I’m like a hot chick. Sitting there, waiting. Waiting for a half decent guy with some real game to come along and in the meantime amusing myself swatting flies away.
I know plenty of hot chicks who just have got way too caught up in the fact that theyre hot, and that that’s all they’re expected to be, so theyre happy with themselves, and meantime theyre just wasting their life and their looks waiting for what they think theyre entitled to.
I don’t want to be like that any more!
I’ve always said that the kind of people I hate are the people who’s only aim in life is to be better than theyre best friend. I hate those small little worm people. If you have a friend like that, just find things to throw at them until they go away.
So yeah. The fact that I’ve got a better job and am a lot smarter and cooler than you means I can act superior if I want.
But is that improving myself, is that taking me to a higher level of achievement, inspiration and personal development?
Or am I just stuck in a sad little rut like you are?
Most chicks are never going to meet the guy they dream of. Theyre just going to settle for some dude who is getting too old to do better.
So I dunno. I’m going to start by visiting my granma in the home more often, and then maybe I been thinking of yknow, like volunteering at starship or looking at other ways I could impress hot chicks by being caring and stuff.
Girls don’t really care about this stuff. They just want a lie to believe, one they can share with their friends.
But that’s not the point.
And maybe rather being gratified that I’m a rich prick who’d run circles round most, I’m gonna look forward to being gratified that I am . . . Mr. Right.
But maybe being Mr. Right does make me a better person.
I’ve been thinking about becoming a better person.
Not right away, but y’know, soon. And I’ve been wanting to blog about how I’ve been thinking about becoming a better person recently.
But every time I try, I sound like a big fuckin gay and feeling how smug all those fuckin penniless lesbian losers who are always telling me I’m arrogant and shallow and all the rest would be.
I mean just because even after you got your stupid arts degree you’re not smart enough to get a decent job and make half what I do and your boyfriend looks like a bum it doesn’t make me shallow, k?
I like models for the same reason I like chocolate. It’s yummy to put in your mouth.
Liking chocolate and german automobiles and models doesn’t make me shallow it just means I like nice things. I don’t like second rate shit.
But I work too hard.
And I get frustrated, so I take my frustrations out by being arrogant and insensitive, because I reason, “that’s life”.
Or did you fail to realise you've grown up in a world obsessed with money and sex? Did you not see that one coming?
And you call ME shallow. sheesh. "Don't hate the player, sweetheart . . ."
Like I laugh at people who want to ban GE.
”oh! You should have thought about that 30 years ago when your capitalist overlords introduced it secretly! Oh well. Maybe next time.”
So there I was, I was sort of complaining mournfully that
“there’s no one in my life that inspires me”
Which is true.
Or considering that because I’m kind of arrogant and a womaniser, the only women I attract are second rate, and I just cant connect to them. It’s kinda lonely. Diddums.
In fact, I was lying awake in bed and the realisation just hit me.
A NEW BEAMER OR BENZY IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS WILL IN NO WAY GET YOU CLOSER TO MEETING A WOMEN YOU RESPECT.
it’s fuckin’ depressing. But it’s true.
But if you’ve ever had a girlfriend you’ll know that they don’t want you to succeed and realise your potential and dreams. They just want you to watch a DVD with them.
By the time you’re talking about walks along the beach you can forget it, I got this money to make.
Often I compare the way I behave to a hot chick. If you know any hot chicks, you’ll know that they have what is known as a “bitch switch”.
It’s used to keep loser guys away by instantly turning into a cold, nasty little cow, that will cut them down the moment they try to lay down their ragged game.
And this is often why I act like an arrogant prick, because it keeps girls who aren’t too bright and have emotional problems and dont think that hard away.
I mean, I tell you I'm arrogant and shallow, so I must be, right?
That’s when I realised that’s what my problem is.
I’m like a hot chick. Sitting there, waiting. Waiting for a half decent guy with some real game to come along and in the meantime amusing myself swatting flies away.
I know plenty of hot chicks who just have got way too caught up in the fact that theyre hot, and that that’s all they’re expected to be, so theyre happy with themselves, and meantime theyre just wasting their life and their looks waiting for what they think theyre entitled to.
I don’t want to be like that any more!
I’ve always said that the kind of people I hate are the people who’s only aim in life is to be better than theyre best friend. I hate those small little worm people. If you have a friend like that, just find things to throw at them until they go away.
So yeah. The fact that I’ve got a better job and am a lot smarter and cooler than you means I can act superior if I want.
But is that improving myself, is that taking me to a higher level of achievement, inspiration and personal development?
Or am I just stuck in a sad little rut like you are?
Most chicks are never going to meet the guy they dream of. Theyre just going to settle for some dude who is getting too old to do better.
So I dunno. I’m going to start by visiting my granma in the home more often, and then maybe I been thinking of yknow, like volunteering at starship or looking at other ways I could impress hot chicks by being caring and stuff.
Girls don’t really care about this stuff. They just want a lie to believe, one they can share with their friends.
But that’s not the point.
And maybe rather being gratified that I’m a rich prick who’d run circles round most, I’m gonna look forward to being gratified that I am . . . Mr. Right.
But maybe being Mr. Right does make me a better person.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
chicks in space
Chicks in space featuring matts brain on a memory stick
I’m on this whole colonisation of space trip.
My mate’s always going on about how the world is headed for disaster.
Me, I’m pretty confident in technology. The internet is making the global community a reality.
That’s why I hate hippies protesting about GE and nuclear power. Where mature (green) free market societies can rise so GE and nuclear power will not be used by white corporate fucks to fuck poor peoples asses . . . it’ll save our asses.
If we run out of oil we’ll synthesize it with biofeul.
If we run out of water making biofeul we’ll synthesize it with nuclear powered desalinators (y’know so we can water plants with the sea and stuff)
But all those poor people overseas will keep starving! We seriously need more condoms. Thats not a joke.
Things will probably get a bit nasty in our lifetimes, but we’ll get through. And with the advances in genetics . . .
what if people born in the 20th century were the last humans to die? That’d suck!
Then it’s off to space.
You know those ultra feminists how they don’t need men, y’know the "as long as there’s sperm on ice then we’re good without men" types?
Well, I just bummed out.
Boys won’t be going to colonise space. We’ll take up too much room. Way more room than a sperm bank. It’ll just add to the cost and damage to the atmosphere when you launch extra shit into space, in this case, like dudes.
Chicks will colonise space.
See THERE’s a movie I might be interested in watching. Like hot chicks on Saturn and aliens and stuff.
Well I’m still going to space before I die. Look down on the earth. That will be a trip.
Literally. By the time I get to that age I’m going to liberally self medicating. Dying of old age will be considered so 21st century.
But then I’m just going to upload to my brain and like chill. Then email it to the girls out on the moons of Saturn we’re they’ll have grown me a nice clone to download my brain into.
SWEEEEEEET
YES TONIGHT WE’RE GONNA PARTY LIKE ITS TWO THOUSAND AND NINETY NINE!!!!
I’m on this whole colonisation of space trip.
My mate’s always going on about how the world is headed for disaster.
Me, I’m pretty confident in technology. The internet is making the global community a reality.
That’s why I hate hippies protesting about GE and nuclear power. Where mature (green) free market societies can rise so GE and nuclear power will not be used by white corporate fucks to fuck poor peoples asses . . . it’ll save our asses.
If we run out of oil we’ll synthesize it with biofeul.
If we run out of water making biofeul we’ll synthesize it with nuclear powered desalinators (y’know so we can water plants with the sea and stuff)
But all those poor people overseas will keep starving! We seriously need more condoms. Thats not a joke.
Things will probably get a bit nasty in our lifetimes, but we’ll get through. And with the advances in genetics . . .
what if people born in the 20th century were the last humans to die? That’d suck!
Then it’s off to space.
You know those ultra feminists how they don’t need men, y’know the "as long as there’s sperm on ice then we’re good without men" types?
Well, I just bummed out.
Boys won’t be going to colonise space. We’ll take up too much room. Way more room than a sperm bank. It’ll just add to the cost and damage to the atmosphere when you launch extra shit into space, in this case, like dudes.
Chicks will colonise space.
See THERE’s a movie I might be interested in watching. Like hot chicks on Saturn and aliens and stuff.
Well I’m still going to space before I die. Look down on the earth. That will be a trip.
Literally. By the time I get to that age I’m going to liberally self medicating. Dying of old age will be considered so 21st century.
But then I’m just going to upload to my brain and like chill. Then email it to the girls out on the moons of Saturn we’re they’ll have grown me a nice clone to download my brain into.
SWEEEEEEET
YES TONIGHT WE’RE GONNA PARTY LIKE ITS TWO THOUSAND AND NINETY NINE!!!!
Girls and Myspace Surveys
Why do girls do surveys???
I have met some amazing chicks here in my time on myspace.
Intelligent women. Creative women. Beautiful women.
But they just can’t stay away from those dumb surveys where they tell everyone all these boring trivial minute details of their mundane lives!!!
Is it a deep genetic impulse known as the cleo/cosmo reflex?
Not a lot of research is available on the subject.
(ie by googling "why do girls do myspace surveys")
But it has been mooted that chicks are very much into "self discovery" and learning about "who they really are".
See I already know I’m smarter than most people I meet it’s just up to me to make more money and date more models to prove it - oh and of course to present this ultra rationalised shallow facade to the world and see who buys it.
but this bulletin isn’t about that.
It’s about another funny old thing I’ve noticed, I even do it myself.
Look at your comments. Especially your PCs.
Have you noticed how often people say the same thing as others without even thinking?
For example:
One person says "Hey Matt, cool pic, nice hair, blah blah . . . "
the chances that the next people to comment will start with the word "hey", will use the adjective "cool" or mention my "hair" is dramatically increased.
I dunno, maybe people don’t really think that much.
Or they tend to treat their brains as a sponge for soaking things up and squeezing them out, rather than a muscle and working it.
See if you notice what I’m talking about
I have met some amazing chicks here in my time on myspace.
Intelligent women. Creative women. Beautiful women.
But they just can’t stay away from those dumb surveys where they tell everyone all these boring trivial minute details of their mundane lives!!!
Is it a deep genetic impulse known as the cleo/cosmo reflex?
Not a lot of research is available on the subject.
(ie by googling "why do girls do myspace surveys")
But it has been mooted that chicks are very much into "self discovery" and learning about "who they really are".
See I already know I’m smarter than most people I meet it’s just up to me to make more money and date more models to prove it - oh and of course to present this ultra rationalised shallow facade to the world and see who buys it.
but this bulletin isn’t about that.
It’s about another funny old thing I’ve noticed, I even do it myself.
Look at your comments. Especially your PCs.
Have you noticed how often people say the same thing as others without even thinking?
For example:
One person says "Hey Matt, cool pic, nice hair, blah blah . . . "
the chances that the next people to comment will start with the word "hey", will use the adjective "cool" or mention my "hair" is dramatically increased.
I dunno, maybe people don’t really think that much.
Or they tend to treat their brains as a sponge for soaking things up and squeezing them out, rather than a muscle and working it.
See if you notice what I’m talking about
Man and Goat
Man and Goat
oh the questions that remain . . . how did he get caught???
Was it a boy or a girl goat? was the goat underage? Pretty shabby journalism really.
I mean seriously. HOW did he get caught?
Did someone say to the goat . . . "show me on this doll where the man touched you?"
Final name suppression was granted today to a North Canterbury man who admitted trying to have sex with a goat.
In Rangiora District Court, Judge Brian Callaghan ordered the man, who turns 69 tomorrow, to undergo two years of intense supervision.
Judge Callaghan said the behaviour was "unusual, perverse and depraved" but his family, including the man’s wife, continued to support him and publication of his name would negatively affect any chances of his rehabilitation.
"It is unfortunate that cases of this nature, the way things are, attract overwhelming media publicity," the judge said.
"There is no doubt a prurient interest (in the case) that people will want to read about. Unfortunately that is human nature."
He said he believed the man’s wife was "bearing the greatest burden here".
The judge noted the man’s previous sexual offending against pre-pubescent girls more than 20 years ago, which, he said, might explain why he chose an animal to satisfy his sexual urges.
"You are a sad case, really," Judge Callaghan said. "This is such perverse and depraved behaviour it reflects a person of enormous deficiency in personality."
At his earlier appearance the court was told the man believed he would not get caught because "animals couldn’t talk" and he would not be "told on".
He had pleaded guilty then to the charge of attempting to commit bestiality with a goat.
Police said the man admitted taking the goat to the rear of his small lifestyle property in a rural township and trying to have sex with it.
After the unsuccessful attempt, the man did up his trousers, patted the goat and walked off.
"He was contrite but said he was unable to stop the behaviour," the police prosecutor said.
Urging Judge Callaghan to grant final name suppression, lawyer Andrew McCormick said the man had "significant personal problems", was unsophisticated, and as an "untreated sex offender" was at a high risk of reoffending.
When the public became aware of earlier offending against children he’d been "run out of town" and suffered regular beatings.
He’d suffered the "full spotlight of the public" and believed he was a prisoner in his own home, fearful of going out because of public hostility.
The man also suffered from a number of medical conditions, including sexual dysfunction.
"If this man’s identity is before the public, he and his family would become pariahs in the community," Mr McCormick said.
Judge Callaghan noted the maximum penalty for similar offending had been reduced from life imprisonment at the turn of the 20th century to one of 3-1/2 years.
But he said he believed a jail sentence was not warranted despite the "niggling issue of sexual offending against young females over 20 years ago".
oh the questions that remain . . . how did he get caught???
Was it a boy or a girl goat? was the goat underage? Pretty shabby journalism really.
I mean seriously. HOW did he get caught?
Did someone say to the goat . . . "show me on this doll where the man touched you?"
Final name suppression was granted today to a North Canterbury man who admitted trying to have sex with a goat.
In Rangiora District Court, Judge Brian Callaghan ordered the man, who turns 69 tomorrow, to undergo two years of intense supervision.
Judge Callaghan said the behaviour was "unusual, perverse and depraved" but his family, including the man’s wife, continued to support him and publication of his name would negatively affect any chances of his rehabilitation.
"It is unfortunate that cases of this nature, the way things are, attract overwhelming media publicity," the judge said.
"There is no doubt a prurient interest (in the case) that people will want to read about. Unfortunately that is human nature."
He said he believed the man’s wife was "bearing the greatest burden here".
The judge noted the man’s previous sexual offending against pre-pubescent girls more than 20 years ago, which, he said, might explain why he chose an animal to satisfy his sexual urges.
"You are a sad case, really," Judge Callaghan said. "This is such perverse and depraved behaviour it reflects a person of enormous deficiency in personality."
At his earlier appearance the court was told the man believed he would not get caught because "animals couldn’t talk" and he would not be "told on".
He had pleaded guilty then to the charge of attempting to commit bestiality with a goat.
Police said the man admitted taking the goat to the rear of his small lifestyle property in a rural township and trying to have sex with it.
After the unsuccessful attempt, the man did up his trousers, patted the goat and walked off.
"He was contrite but said he was unable to stop the behaviour," the police prosecutor said.
Urging Judge Callaghan to grant final name suppression, lawyer Andrew McCormick said the man had "significant personal problems", was unsophisticated, and as an "untreated sex offender" was at a high risk of reoffending.
When the public became aware of earlier offending against children he’d been "run out of town" and suffered regular beatings.
He’d suffered the "full spotlight of the public" and believed he was a prisoner in his own home, fearful of going out because of public hostility.
The man also suffered from a number of medical conditions, including sexual dysfunction.
"If this man’s identity is before the public, he and his family would become pariahs in the community," Mr McCormick said.
Judge Callaghan noted the maximum penalty for similar offending had been reduced from life imprisonment at the turn of the 20th century to one of 3-1/2 years.
But he said he believed a jail sentence was not warranted despite the "niggling issue of sexual offending against young females over 20 years ago".
Mr. Good Enough
I just LOVE sexual politics. In case you didn’t know.
You really shouldn’t get the wrong idea.
But you can still delete me if you like, I always get sick of stupid people eventually anyway and there are heaps of stupid people on my friends list.
There are some people on my friends list who - if I was a REAL friend - I would tell them to stop using myspace as an excuse to act 15 years old.
But you know what girls are like. The truth is not one of their favourite things.
Did you see that article in the sunday star about settling for mr. good enough?
basically if you’re 30 and an 8, you should accept that you’re an 8 and settle for an 8 husband rather than holding out for a 10 and before you know it 40 and a 5 and settling for a 5 husband.
It’s so calculating isn’t it?
Don’t you just love post-feminism?
so let me get this straight.
When you’re erin brokovich and you’re using your cleavage to save the planet, you’re sexually empowered, but when you’re pushing 40 and losing your looks, you’re best to just take what you can before you die "lonely and childless"?
Or could it be that maybe buying into all this "sexual empowerment" shit is basically setting yourself up for a fall because you chose to define yourself in terms of your sexuality because you have a sweet rack rather than say . . . oh I dunno . . .
your basic essence of goodness as a human being?
I dunno. Men are programmed to want to fuck.
You want to sell something to a guy? Put a hot chick next to it. You’ll see this . . . oh . . . everywhere?
Men are programmed to sexually profile women without even thinking consciously about it.
And that’s the reason guys are into blondes. Only young girls have naturally blonde hair while the boobs are there because men don’t have that greater noses like other animals that can smell when shes keen, so the boobs tell the man that she’s not too young.
And of course on top of tits thats another crazy thing about human females. While other animals go on heat, human females are always keen.
Thats a whole nother story to do with how useless human children are that they need two parents (another reason men are programmed to basically just want to fuck) but anyway.
The boob jobs and the short skirts and the blonde dye jobs . . . is that instinct too?
Or maybe sexual empowerment is just another marketing scam . . .
Not saying there’s anything wrong with marketing!!!!
hahaha
You really shouldn’t get the wrong idea.
But you can still delete me if you like, I always get sick of stupid people eventually anyway and there are heaps of stupid people on my friends list.
There are some people on my friends list who - if I was a REAL friend - I would tell them to stop using myspace as an excuse to act 15 years old.
But you know what girls are like. The truth is not one of their favourite things.
Did you see that article in the sunday star about settling for mr. good enough?
basically if you’re 30 and an 8, you should accept that you’re an 8 and settle for an 8 husband rather than holding out for a 10 and before you know it 40 and a 5 and settling for a 5 husband.
It’s so calculating isn’t it?
Don’t you just love post-feminism?
so let me get this straight.
When you’re erin brokovich and you’re using your cleavage to save the planet, you’re sexually empowered, but when you’re pushing 40 and losing your looks, you’re best to just take what you can before you die "lonely and childless"?
Or could it be that maybe buying into all this "sexual empowerment" shit is basically setting yourself up for a fall because you chose to define yourself in terms of your sexuality because you have a sweet rack rather than say . . . oh I dunno . . .
your basic essence of goodness as a human being?
I dunno. Men are programmed to want to fuck.
You want to sell something to a guy? Put a hot chick next to it. You’ll see this . . . oh . . . everywhere?
Men are programmed to sexually profile women without even thinking consciously about it.
And that’s the reason guys are into blondes. Only young girls have naturally blonde hair while the boobs are there because men don’t have that greater noses like other animals that can smell when shes keen, so the boobs tell the man that she’s not too young.
And of course on top of tits thats another crazy thing about human females. While other animals go on heat, human females are always keen.
Thats a whole nother story to do with how useless human children are that they need two parents (another reason men are programmed to basically just want to fuck) but anyway.
The boob jobs and the short skirts and the blonde dye jobs . . . is that instinct too?
Or maybe sexual empowerment is just another marketing scam . . .
Not saying there’s anything wrong with marketing!!!!
hahaha
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